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10 Apr 2005 Stag Weekend (or how to make the most of the freedom you have before being attached to the old ball 'n' chain)

My old school mate, Kiz, is getting married soon to a lovely Norwegian woman. Getting to the wedding ceremony it gonna be a bitch seeing as it's being held in Norway but that's a different Story. And the missus wanted to the traditional Hens night thing with all her girlfriends and basically wanted Kiz out of the picture so that the girls can play with dildos and stuff. The natural thing for him to do is for him to have a traditional Stag night, or in this case a whole weekend.

And the only way to celebrate his last few moments of freedom? Me and five other good friends of his took him to Blackpool.

This is a long entry so to save screen space I stuck the rest of the entry in the comments bit of the entry.

Posted at: 22:53 PM

Your Thoughts

GRAX said on Sunday 10th of April 2005 at 10:56:45 PM

The journey

Now coming from Portsmouth, practically the most South you can get in the UK, the drive up to Blackpool was a long one except for the walkie talkies that the others took (they've done this sort of thing before) which made things a lot interesting for about 5 minutes. The whole novelty of being able to talk crap to the other convoy vehicle in front brought a smile to my face. Other than that there isn't much else to mention.

The First Night

Once we'd gotten to our cheap bed and breakfast place, unloaded our stuff, and got all kitted out in smart clothes we headed out on the town, to explore an unknown territory. The first thing that crossed my mind about Blackpool was "Oh fuck me it's cold! I didn't bring a warm jacket! Why didn't I bring a warm jacket? Fuck me it's cold!" or something like that. That's right, being near a seacoast means there are bitter winds being constantly blown in your face in an insulting fashion. Oh well. I survived it.

So we did a pub-crawl-type-thing through Blackpool getting an idea of the area and the seven of us ended up in the superclub known as The Syndicate. It's actually quite a good place to go as reviewed here. So we drank, danced and got merry throughout the night.

The Next Day

Man did I feel rough. I overdid it with the drinks last night and I didn't feel 100%. Thanksfully I didn't feel ill or have a headache, but I did have a delightful period of something I like to call "Beer-Farts" (where your farts stank so bad as the booze was still fermenting in your guts) which was nice... The only thing to cheer me up at the time was the traditional greasy fry-up breakfast the hosts of the B&B served up. Truely the breakfast of champions.

Reardless of our condition we still pushed on and continued to explore Blackpool, despite the icy winds. During our travels we came across a amusement park called Pleasureland. So we walked in, then shortly walked out after we found out the prices of the rides. £9 for a ride? You must be joking! We've already blown our budget last night and we needed more money to go out tonight. Screw that.

There was one thing I noticed in Pleasureland that kinda disturbed me. The water fountains were pumping out some sort of blue liquid:

Mutha-loving anti-freeze fountains!

I shit you not, every fountain there was pumping out anti-freeze! Surely that's against health regulations. Some stupid kid would drink that stuff, get sick and the parents for sue the park for their kids stupidity and get a lump of money to shut them up. Now there's a idea....

Anyway we decided to go back to our place we were staying, rest up and get all dressed up again to go out. Last night was a dress rehersal. I made a real effort to look good. Fully suited up and looking stylish, I looked the Mac-Daddy. Ladies if you saw me you would not be able to control yourselves I was that damn sharp! That goes for you too fellas. Mere photos could not do my look full justice, so I did a sketch of what I looked like below:

You know you want me

So we were ready, sexy, and had one mission in mind...

Operation: Lust

This night we following the same route and crawled through the same places as last night, except for one differece. We had one mission in Blackpool, make sure Kiz, the groom, enjoyed the last few days of freedom. So we went for the traditional approach; we too him to a strip bar. We sorted him out with a dancer and he left with the lovely lady to a seperate room to be ex[posed to the sinful deed. He came out shortly liking the experience so much, he went back in for more. Mission accomplished. We chinked our beers to our success.

And as the other strippers in the bar circled us like vulture squarking at us for a dance I thought "Ah hell, she's pretty". So I got taken into a room, coughed up £20, put my hands behind my back like I was told to (under the watchful eyes of the bouncers across the room) and... well... she did her job. The experince was over as quickly as it started. But I gotta ask myself; after coughing up my hard earn cash for practically no gain was the whole experience worth it, even if it was just to say I did it? Let me put it this way:

Yep.

So after we were all satisfied we quickly left the strip bar because we could feel the vampires of the bar stucking our essence and money. We ended up in The Syndicate superclub again and finished off what was a good night.

The Conclusion

Next morning (today actually) we all got up early, had our things ready and did the long drive home. Said our goodbyes, hugs, see you next time, etc, adn that was it.

The whole thing was pretty damn good, even if we each ended up spending about £200 the whole weekend, I'm gonna feel so poor this month. The only regret was that we never got to play a Stag night prank on Kiz, like tying him up maked on a lamp post.

Oh well.

RAZII JINX said on Tuesday 12th of April 2005 at 07:29:46 PM

Anti-freeze! Yay!

And glad you had fun with these uh...nice women. XD

VALERIE said on Friday 15th of April 2005 at 12:39:44 PM