The Grax Domain

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3 May 2006 Stupid mistake at work

So I did something rather stupid and insensitive to the wrong person today. I insulted the Bigboss at work this morning. I'm not sure if it was by accident or on purpose, I'd rather not thing about the reasoning behind it.

The basic idea is that it was our daily morning meeting; the kind that brings everyone up to speed about how everyone is doing. I was generally in a bad mood, mostly because I'm thinking about the big project I'm working on, partly due to the lack of sleep I've been getting for the past few days. Totally self inflicted I might add, so I deserve no sympathy.

It came to my turn and I became very, very sarcastic. I ran down the list of things to do but said it in a sarcastic overtone ("pulling a miracle out of our ass", "palming work to him upstairs", etc). It was mean to be talked to everyone but I was looking mostly at Bigboss; so I could see how she thought it was aimed at her. I was trying to be light-hearted and not try to be too serious. But not did I cross the line; I took a shit on it as I passed. Suffice to say that Bigboss was not happy. She looked at me scornfully and said "Is that sarcasm I hear?!" and carried on at me in a raised voice about how what I said was very inappropriate and how hard she's working trying to keep everyone happy. Which is technically true.

Anyway we went our way and I went about making me tea rounds. My immediate boss took me to one side and told me about how unwise and inappropriate I was talking that way and that I should go apologise to Bigboss. I'd told various work colleagues what I had done. Not in a boastfully way, just so they know what was going on. I will admit it now I would be lying if I didn't feel a sense of satisfaction that anybody would have felt talking back at their boss while they're in a bad mood. I just had the audacity (read stupidity) to do so. It wasn't until I told one work colleague when I felt the full guilt of what I did.

I got to the last person on my tea round and cheerfully she asked how I was. I told her what I did. She replied with a disappointed "Oh Grax..." and looked at me with a mothers disappointment; the kind that cuts right into a childs heart. I felt so guilty and terrible, I was actually quite horrible and I didn't mean to be. My mind was beginning to flood with all these afterthoughts about the consequences of my actions. I blocked them out the best I could, I had work to do and I was going to apologise to Bigboss. Just walk in for a few minutes and explain that I was wrong and that I am sorry. Which is harder than it sounds, considering that is Busy Season at work and people have to do a dozen things at once, especially Bigboss.

A few hours I finally got to see Bigboss in her office. I closed the door, we sat down and I apologised. I told her that it was wrong of me to act that way, me being busy was no excuse (especially as how she was comparatively more busy) and that I am sorry. She said that being sarcastic is no way to talk to a human being and that it's horrible to be at the receiving end. She then told me that everyone else who was at the morning meeting had gone up to her saying how appalled they were at me. I was shocked. I tried not to be, but I was visibly shocked. I didn't think they gave a shit.

Afterwards we went back to our work. She seemed okayish really, but basically I don't think I'll be recovering from my moment of recklessness anytime soon. I wonder how many people I've offended unintentionally in my life with my sarcasm and bluntness. I'm only trying to be funny and light-hearted. Mind you I never said that I was a funny guy. :(

Oh well.... so much for my bonus this year...

Posted at: 22:03 PM

Your Thoughts

CakePlease said on Friday 5th of May 2006 at 11:37:30 AM

Hmm can;t really comment, ur work peeps might read this websight. But i don;t think this is really a big issue and u are being made to feel guilty for something that isn;t that bad.

GRAX said on Saturday 6th of May 2006 at 05:38:37 PM