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1 Mar 2006 The night of the mini-chavs

[Misc] It was a Saturday night in the city of Portsmouth and I was invited to a
house party by an acquaintance that I hadn't seen in a long while, called D. He and I, along with a couple other guys and gals, were walking along the street heading to a guys house to pick him up for the house party. Across the street there were two drunk chavs heading towards us, fully kitted out in fake ADIDAS-style tracksuit clothes and 'designer' caps. They couldn't have been more than 15 years old. One was a fatty with a pubic-stained, crappy excuse for a moustache and the other was a skinny little runt.

The fat kid went up to D and said with a slur "'ave ya got a fag??" (He was asking for a cigarette, not a homosexual) D said that he didn't, he was smoking the last of his cigarettes. "C'mon, all I wont iz one fag" the fatty whined. We said no and kept walking. The chav kids decided to shout some abuse as us as we walked, including "Why doncha go and fuck ya mum??!". Me and another guy in the group mutter to ourselves jokingly, "Yeah, after we fuck your mum" and had a little chuckle.

One of the girls in the group thought this was funny too and decided to say it out loud to the chav kids.

Oddly enough they didn't like this comment.

So they decided to follow us. And shout at us. And even throw something at us (and miss).

This carried on for a few minutes and we basically ignored them. After all we didn't want any trouble, as adult are not really allowed to beat up kids. People would confuse it with assault for some bizarre reason. Anyway the chav kids followed us all the way to the guys house. Then we saw in the corner of our eyes the chav kids running at us and were going to hit D with something. Instinctively D grabbed the nearest heavy rock he could find and was going to smack them across the face. The kids stopped in their tracks and the runt waved a flimsy pipe at D. He said "It's only a bit of rubber!" and gave an annoying machine-gun laugh, thinking he was all big and clever.

Then Chunky decided to have a go at us for insulting his mother. He streamed off a lot of shit from his mouth including:


And so on.

Me and the other guys were just staring at these little punks unimpressed, thinking "What? Just shut up and go already". We were trying really hard not to slap them about like they deserved. I was even thinking "Please, give me a reason. They'd believe that it was in self-defence wouldn't they?" Soon the chav kids got bored and decided to leave us alone, but after the lunchbox said "Y'know wot? Ya ain't worth it!" and gave us a threatening stare.

So there you go. At least it gave us something to talk and joke about during the party.

Posted at: 14:00 PM

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