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12 Jan 2005 Wanted: Tester To See the Side Effects of Mobile Phones

[Rant] I been hearing a lot in the news today about how mobile phones should not be given to 8 year olds due to the unknown effects of "mobile phone radiation". Personally I wouldn't give it to them because they're too damn young and irresponsible to own one. Who are they gonna call anyway?? But that's not the point. Scientist are still debating over the safety issues of mobile phone. There's no strong evidence saying that they are dangerous, but there's also no strong evidence saying that they are harmless. What they need is a large group of guinea pigs to test these phone on and record the outcomes. My point is this:

Ladies and gentlemen WE are the guinea pigs. We have been for several years.

Think about it. If mobile phones we even possibly unsafe they wouldn't release it for public use would they? You wouldn't release the latest Action Man doll with kung-fu chop™ if it was possible that it would stab you to death with it's metal knife (though that would be an interesting thing to see). Regardless more and more advance phones are being sold and we're just happily cooking our brains and/or groin areas with these evil invisible rays of death (although this is not proven). I've had a mobile phone in my pocket for years now and I'm probably infertile due to these bastards. Or worse, I'll only be able to produce mutant children that have special powers like they do in the comics (that would be nice but I'll probably end up with a kid with three and a half eyes, lumpy skin, an oversized limb and a hump).

And the only people who'll benefit from all this will be the scientist, analysing our misfortunes and coming to the conclusion that "Whoops, we shouldn't have released that..... Oh well, let keep making money out of it". This kind of crap has happened several times in the past. It happened with tobaccoo, it happened with cocaine (it used to be used in Coca-Cola soft drink and it was also a cure for sexual impotence), no doubt it'll happen again. Dammit if we have to put up with this kind of public experimentation we should be compensated. A new mobile phone would be nice.

So to conclude I say if you want to know the possible side effects of mobile phone then keep handing them out and wait a few decades. Your results will probably be in the hospital wards. I'll see you there ^_^

One more thing, I've heard a little rumour about mobile phones and I wanna try it. I think you all should too. Try this little experiment; take an uncooked egg and two mobile phones. place the phones on opposite ends of the uncooked egg about 6-10 inches apart (or centimetres I can't remember which). Leave them for about 12-15mins. See whats happened to the egg. Let me know the results because I'll probably forget to try it myself.

Posted at: 0:24 AM

Your Thoughts

Abi said on Saturday 22nd of January 2005 at 02:36:29 PM

Gravatar Hmm..a bit like the mass immunisation conspiracy...

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