The Grax Domain

30 Oct 2006 New Grax Domain: Beta

Over the past few months on and off (during my spare moments) I have been working on updating the whole website. Not just with updated content, but a restructure, adding of new features and making it more accessible for all. I have practically finished it all. But I want to run it as a 'test run' before I make it all official. Y'know, something like a couple of weeks or so to iron out all the kinks and stuff.

You can see the beta of the new Grax Domain at http://www.graxdomain.co.uk/beta/. That's not so hard to remember now is it?

I won't list out all the updates just yet, but keep an eye for 'Past Entries' and the site map at the bottom. As ever feel free to post comments, suggestions, spotted bugs, tips, and so on. Input is greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

26 Oct 2006 Marvel has done it again! Stop it!

Warning: Spoiler Alert

Remember when I talked about Marvel character deaths and how they would be doing something silly like bringing back Bucky from the dead?

... *sigh*

Oh dear.

I guess this means my other predictions will come true too.

24 Oct 2006 Grax has left his mark

I wrote my entry on the History Matters website. It's going through moderation I believe and when it's available to view I'll stick on the link to it for all to see.

... Man, it was a pretty dull day. I doubt anyone from the future will get anything out of it.

EDIT: Aha! Found it. I found my entry on the History Matters website for all to see. You might learn something.

22 Oct 2006 Girlfriend gone wrong, Simpsons dealing with Apocalypse, and the dog tag that I want

I had another one of those nights where I had multiple dreams in one night.

The first dream...

I was at my salsa dance class as per usual, I was with my girlfriend M, the teacher Antony was teaching and strutting his stuff, everything was as it should be. It was soon the end of the night and we were getting ready to leave. M turned to me and she asked "Do you love me?". I held her face and replied "Of course". Then her face became more distorted and ugly in my hand. My heart began to race with fear. She asked me again if I loved her and I said yes, but with a slight tone of fear in my voice. She grinned at me and it scared the hell out of me.

So much so that it woke me up. After reassuring myself that it was all a dream I slowly drifted back to sleep.

The second dream...

This time it was an episode of the Simpsons (once again not being a funny show) and the whole Simpson family was running away as everyone in the country (which happen to be England at the time) was under some kind of mind control by an evil force, I don't remember who or what. One by once each Simpson member was caught and gave into the evil influence and became one of 'them'. The family reached the Scottish shores and the only family members left were Lisa and Marge, and me (how the hell did I end up in the chase???) They managed to find a boat and rowed out to sea and escaped. The remaining Simpsons managed to make it to Egypt (which so happened to be around the corner) and there lied the Sphinx. The Simpson ladies and I managed to get inside and there we met up with Apocalyse of X-Men fame. He had heard of what was happening to the people of the world and he offered a way to help by making myself one of his Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He was actually a really nice, friendly chap.

But I wasn't the only one who was given the chance to be a horseman. There were six other guys there too; slim, well built, average all round. I was examined by one of Apocalypses minions and they pointed out a whole varieties of flaw with me that meant I couldn't be a horseman including being too fat and having some kind of disease/genetic defect that meant I have sever ingrown fingernails. I then woke up in real life.

(I think one of the reasons I dreamt that dream was because I read X-Men: Blood of Apocalypse the other day. Good read that.)

The third dream...

I was with M once again (she has returned to her normal, beautiful self) and we were at her house. We were preparing for her family gathering (though they weren't her real life family, just some random people). They arrived one by one and I was at the door greeting each of them. I noticed M's glasses on the side and I put them on for a joke. Turns out I really like wearing them so I kept them on. Shortly afterward my old Uni friend Adam turn up out of the blue. I greeted him with smiles and hugs and we started chatting away as if everything was normal.

Then M and I were at a ficticious store in London not unlike Forbidden Planet but with less comics and more collectable-figures-type-stuff. I was looking for a Ork dog tag (from Games-Workshop fame, this is an actual product that exist in real life but is out of product and I have not been able to find one). I looked on all the shelves, I asked the clerks, but no luck.

But the clerks were nice enough to offer to contact if they find the dog tags so I tried to leave them my details. However they thought that my mobile phone number was in fact a Greek telephone number, and yet they ended up writing "05/" as the phone number. Very strange. I tried to tell them my email but it was so complex that I gave up and wrote it down for them. We then left the store.

It had started to rain so M produced an umbrella, I had forgotten mine. I was trailing behind her so I galloped like a cat to catch up with her. Suddenly my umbrella dropped out of her umbrella. I picked it up but it had gotten itself inside out (of whatever the term is). So I held it against the wind so it would sort itself out. However the umbrella was edging towards some electric power grid cables so I quickly let go of it before it touched the cable and gave me an electric shock. I got told off by M for nearly getting electrocuted.

I then woke up in real life.

Bonus dream sequence...

I just remembered another small bit from a seperate dream. I was walking down the street at night time with M and some other friends. I was ahead of them by a fair bit. Suddenly I got caught by a purple thorny vine and it tripped me up. The thorns had really dug themselves in around my ankle. I tried to pull myself free but the more I struggled the deeper the thorns dug themselve into my flesh. I really felt the pain.

22 Oct 2006 A day out at Thrope Park, now with chunky puke

This weekend me and my girlfriend thought it would be grand to spend a day at a theme park, Thorpe Park to be precise. The other motivation was for me to see my old friend Harlandos, whom I haven't seen for a long time and also used to work at Thorpe Park, so he had free tickets and could get us on the rides without queuing. It's good to have connections.

For those people who have never been I would have to say that it is better than Chessington's World of Adventure, Legoland, and Paultons Park (it's a hoot hoot). I'm sure that Alton Towers kicks all buttocks in the field of theme parks but I've not been there yet.

Still the four of us (me, missus, Harlandos, and his missus) braved all the rides and dodgy foods and we all had lots of fun. Even me, despite me being a bit of a pussy...

Because of the Vortex...

Which I went on after having a burger...

I tried to keep it in my mouth for as long as I could but I couldn't stand the chunky stomach juice in my mouth any longer. I had to empty my mouth on the nearest bush. I was reassured that it was better to throw up on the bushes rather than in the bins.

I didn't really want to ride on anything else afterwards.

Still, keeping vomit in my mouth for about a minute. That's gotta be worth some kudos... right....?

19 Oct 2006 The Money Shot; worth its weight in gold?

It's a funny old thing The Money Shot™. If you sit down and think about it you realise that it serves no useful purpose in life outside the porn industry, other than to satisfy people's fantasies.

The reason for TMS is to show the fact that the man has climaxed after a lengthy session of sexual intercourse. Whilst this may be a useful thing for all the people watching these movies with their pants around their ankles, when you're at it you don't need to be reminded that you have 'finished and in need of a nap and/or smoke'. At least I don't anyway. Also in procreational, evolutionary terms what other animal do you know has sex with a mate and then flips her over and sprays sperm all over her?

So is there a point to this? Do people actually enjoy giving and receiving TMS?

I can see why men may enjoy doing it to the ladies. Maybe it's a sign of dominance, it's a way of marking the woman thusly making her his property. It's like a non-verbal way of saying "You're my wife now!" Maybe men like presenting women with home-made pearl necklaces. I just see it as an awkward moment where you both give the look of "What the hell you doing?" to the man and then the man feel obligated to clean up the mess he just made. Maybe I wasn't doing it right.

And despite what the porno films might make you think I've yet to meet a woman who feely and openly admits that they like rubbing man-cream all over their silky smooth skin whilst moaning in an orgasmic manner because the cream keeps them eternally young. Or something like that.

So perhaps the TMS fantasy myth should go into retirement and try showing a more realistic way of representing the climax. After all it's generations of young men that will be influenced by the porn of tomorrow, they ought to see something that is mostly true to real life. Maybe the man should climax into a condom, tie it up and wave it in front of the camera and say with a smile on his face "paydirt!"

18 Oct 2006 Grax will leave his mark

There is a calling out to all the british people. A call to record their day in a nationwide blog for future generations to read. Simply put the History Matters website is giving people the chance to write between 100 and 650 words about their day. It can be about anything, from important political events to the colour of your poo. This window of opportunity is from the 17^th to 31^st October 2006.

I intend to leave my mark in history. And I hope it to be a pretty and smelly mess.

I will leave my mark on Tuesday 24^th October 2006. I predict that day will be most eventful. Well it better be or else I'll be going into stupid levels of detail to fill up the page. But will 650 words be enough? After all, it's taken me 149 words just to write this entry so far.

Hey you Britons, this'll be fun. Why not leave your mark on history by clicking here.

Those poor future generations...

16 Oct 2006 The latest in high tech desktop defense

Oh you know you need one of these on your desktop.

12 Oct 2006 Thought of the day #3: Would you rather...

Would you rather have premature ejaculation or impotence?

And if you had to have them neither of them would be curable (even though it's quite possible to cure both in real life).

This question goes out to women as well as men, seeing as they have to deal with either of these situation as well.

Two extremes of the sexual frustration spectrum, yet both can be as equally devastating in a relationship.

If I had to choose one and had to keep the condition I think I'd rather have impotence. Because even if it means you can't stick it in her and the women may end up feeling 'unsexy' (I never understood why, if I didn't find them attractive in anyway I wouldn't want to see them naked let alone drop my anchor in their lagoon) the man could always redeem himself with his masterful use of his hands, fingers and tongue.

What about you lot?

Would you rather have premature ejaculation or impotence?

2 Oct 2006 What we need is Captain Planet

Planet Earth is in a pretty sorry state right about now. Rising global temperatures, mass deforestation and extinction, melting ice caps, pollution. The list goes on. And the situation is getting worse. Clearly something needs to be done. Sure we can try things like increase awareness, pass laws, or even pay attention to what we're actually throwing away. But I believe we need something more potent, more meaningful, more Xtreme™ to get us to change our ways.

What we need is Captain Planet and the Planeteers.

Think about it. Captain Planet was kicking pollution in the nuts in the 90's, defeating villains like Duke Nukem, Dr Blight, Hoggish Greedly, and the likes every week. And no wonder, look at his powers! Flight, super-strength, the ability to blow hurricane force winds, telepathy, telekinesis, can change shape, transmute matter, and virtually any other super-power required by the circumstances currently facing him. He has the powers of a God! And some might say he's cheating. But he's fighting on the planet's side so it's alright. If he was around nowadays he would sort out all of Earth's pollution problems. And he would always end it with a moral story about looking after the planet through the power that is television (aka brainwashing), like he's done in the past. Even like Popeye has done in the past.

However before you start looking up the lyrics to the Captain Planet theme song we need to take stock. Let's examine Captain Planet in more detail:



What we have here is the look of Captain Planet, which is loosely designed around the DC character Captain Atom. Now to me there's one glaringly obvious flaw with Captain Planet that needs to be addressed.His mullet!!

Come on, the mullet was SO 1990. No one's going to take him seriously. The insults thrown at him would be far more deadly than any form of pollution (Captain Planet's kryponite). So a hair-cut is in order. And if we redesign his hair we may as well redesign all of him. Update him, to be part of the noughties, not the nineties.

He needs something new, fresh, Xtreme™, Anime™, and any other corporate made-up buzz words you can think of.

Captain Planet needs an update Planeteers, will you heed the call?