The Grax Domain

21 Apr 2006 Dream-fest

For the past couple of days I've remembered the dreams that I had. The thing is I've only had time to jot them down on a piece of paper before I could write them out here. Now I've actually gotten around to writing them out. I've written out three dreams and they're each quite long to read, so it's best to read them whenever you get a spare moment. I've not gotten around to writing down any analysis for them. Please do leave feedback about any of the dreams; I'd love to know what you think. I've given titles to each of the dreams:

• A typical day at Scrubs
• The consequences of drink-driving
• Casper the killer ghost movie

21 Apr 2006 A typical day at Scrubs

I don't remember all the details of this dream, just the general feel of the dream with the ending. I didn't get to write out all the details until in the afternoon, by that time I'd forgotten most of the details. I had this dream on the 20th April 2006.

The basic setting was the American sitcom TV show Scrubs. It was all set in a different hospital rather than the hospital that it is in, but you still knew it was Scrubs. All the characters were playing out there parts, J.D. was narrating as per usual. I remember it not being funny at all, it wasn't trying to be funny; it was just a usual day. Then everyone's attention was focus on what was happening outside.

It was me fighting another man, to the death. I was a lot more buff than I usually am, the other guy was equally muscular. He was mean looking, butch, long dark hair, typical thug bad-guy look. I felt so much hate and rage for this man. I don't know why I felt like this about him; I just wanted to destroy him and I wasn't holding back. Eventually I got around to ripping his head from his body, holding it up by his shaggy hair. But still the man looked at me and smiled, as if he was winning. He was even taunting me to crush his head. "C'mon, what are you waiting for? Kill me!!" (I drew a picture of what it looked like though my memory is fuzzy and I might have gotten it wrong.)



I wanted to kill him. I wanted to squish his head like a tomato; it even felt ripe in my hands. There was so much anger running through that it hurt. My body was tense with the anticipation of crushing the mocking head. But I wouldn't. I couldn't. I didn't crush his head. I think there was a part of me that wanted me to stop in fear that I would like it too much and I would not stop killing, that I would go on a rampage. I yell at the top of my lungs "I can't do it!" and discarded the head. I was disappointed with myself and felt sad, as if I had failed. I felt the rush and the power of the rage leave me to be replaced with the come-down of weakness and patheticness; like I have felt in real life.

I then woke up in real life.

21 Apr 2006 The consequences of drink-driving

I had this dream on the 19th April 2006. It was the first of two dreams I had that day.

I had just finished my salsa lesson for the night with my (rather attractive) female dance instructor and a female friend. We decided to celebrate by going to the bar and having a few drinks. Now the place I go to learn salsa is a half an hour drive away therefore I wasn't allowed to drink much alcohol. So I only had a shot of whisky and then carried on drinking fruit juice. Unknown to me the instructor and friend had spiked my fruit juice with a single shot of whisky. I didn't taste the whisky in my drink as I down its fruity goodness and I got in my car to drive off that night, feeling more than capable of driving.

As I was driving down the motorway I was feeling more and more tired and drunk. I then realised that my drink was spike and I that I was in fact drunk and over the drink/drive limit. I needed to get home as soon as possible before the police caught me or before somebody gets hurt. I was reaching the end of the motorway, swerving all over the place trying to stay in control when I saw a guy walking across the road. But it was too late when I saw him. I ran into him with my car and he bounced off it like a rag doll before collapsing onto the road, dead. I had killed a man whilst drunk behind the wheel.

That sobered me up and I was struck with grief and guilt. I felt terrible. I didn't know what to do so I drove back home.

There was a party going on at my house. Everyone was having a great time but I was still felt terrible from the guilt of running somebody over, but I didn't tell anyone about it; I kept it all to myself. I sat in a corner alone close to tears. Then a dark haired, attractive woman approached me; she could clearly see there was something troubling me and with a sympathetic ear asked me what was wrong. I refused to tell her what was wrong; I knew that she could not help me. But still she asked, reassuring me that she was there to help. Eventually I caved in and told her everything that had happened that night; the salsa, the spiked drink, the drunk driving, the man I ran over, everything. The woman then said that I was under arrest for the crimes that I had committed. She was a policewoman in disguise and was accompanied by David Jason in his A Touch of Frost character. Suffice to say that I lost my drivers license.

Then things took a turn for the odd. Somehow the Press and the Media had found out about my arrest and decided that it was wrong and unjust; that it was an error on the Justice System's part and there was corruption within the ranks (as they do). It's was everywhere, I was treated like the underdog hero. But all the facts the Media published were not true, I did kill someone whilst drink-driving. Still the general public were worked up into a frenzy, showering me with praises, gifts, riots and all. In the end I had to stop the insanity by grabbing a microphone during an interview/protest and shout "Look you've got it all wrong! I really did do it!" I then told the public everything that had happened, they finally found out the truth.

The general public felt cheated and angry with me. Their 'hero' was nothing but a lie and a murderer. They shunned me, shouted at me, and demanded all their gifts back. Regardless of all this Media nonsense I was still due for a sentence from the Justice System. A couple of days before the sentencing my dad released me from where I was being held. He was in his late thirties in his conservative look, before he moved to London and became a 'cyber goth' type person (that part about him being a cyber is no dream; he really is one in real life).

He lead me through the woods. It was all peaceful, not necessarily an attractive looking woodland area, just average looking. We passed through a stream and I noticed a prehistoric-looking fish that had evolved some forearms and was using them to forage as it swam through the stream. I asked my dad where he was taking me, but I don't think he replied. Shortly afterwards I worked out where my dad was taking me.

My dad was taking me somewhere deep into the forest to kill me. And I felt contempt with this knowledge and I accepted it.

Then I woke up in real life.

21 Apr 2006 Casper the Killer Ghost movie

I had this dream on the 19th April 2006. It was the second of two dreams I had that day.

I dreamt that I was watching a movie. That is to say that the story was being played out like it was in real life (and not me watching a movie on a TV) but I was not there I was merely watching it like a movie. I think that makes sense.... Anyway there was this average family watching the television and one of the characters stood out. He was a boy, the younger of two brothers. He had deep blue eyes and brown, short, shaggy hair. He was the cute, smart, but least liked member of the family, especially from the older brother. Then the TV changed channel on its own in a spooky way and there was Casper the Friendly Ghost on the screen, in an empty box room. He was a 3D CGI ghost; he looked like he was created back in the 90s with the basic primitive shapes and whatnot. He was real and was aware, and he wanted out of the TV.

Casper more or less befriended the young boy, he basically lured the boy with promises of... something... I can't remember what. Casper was able to push the TV screen right up the boy's face but could not break out. Occasionally the image suddenly shifted to Casper being mangled up, like he was in a 3D modelling program with someone messing around with him, and he slowly began to unravel himself. There was something about how he unravelled that was surreal and sinister. The eldest brother taunted the younger one, saying that he was being stupid and told him not to pay attention to the ghost. But still the young boy looked upon the ghost, right up to his face. He felt like Casper understood him; like he was his friend. But in actual fact Casper was evil.

The more that the boy talked to the evil ghost the more solid the ghost became. The ghost was planning to become strong enough to break free from the TV prison, and it was going to kill the family. Eventually Casper the Evil Ghost became free.

Then somehow I was no longer an observer of this horror story; I was in the story. I was in my old house, the first house I lived in and Casper the Evil Ghost was chasing me. I was terrified. I ran into my lounge and hid behind the couch, the ghost inching towards me menacingly. But my dad was sitting on the couch and he was there to save the day. Quickly and calmly he grabbed the TV remote control and turned on the TV. Then a series of surreal images started to flicker on the screen, similar to the way it did in the movie Ring (and yes I did see The Ring on the TV, but The Ring is only on the American remake, so it doesn't count for shit). Casper saw the TV turn on and knew that his time was up. He was being sucked back into the TV set. he struggled to get away but it was hopeless. He got sucked in and that was the end of it.

I then work up in real life.

The odd thing about this dream is that it replayed itself at certain scenes. I also distinctly remember the camera angles in some of the scenes, especially when the young boy was up close face to face with Casper. The camera was so close to their faces.

Shit I've just realised something as I was writing this... I think that boy was me. Or at least representing me... and that the brother was representing MY brother. I think. I don't know.

18 Apr 2006 Second Life (or how I'm wasting my life away)

Hey.

It's been a while since I've written stuff down and there's one main reason why this is so. Back in mid February I decided to try out a free trial period of the PC game called Second Life. I think it was one of those low moments due to it being Valentines week and the women of the world had passed up a great looking guy AGAIN. They just don't know a great deal when they see one I guess. =/

Anyway it's been over two months since the trial period ran out and I'm still playing it. So I'm writing to review, partly to warn you all that it's a little bit addictive...

When I first logged in after choosing my name (Grax of course) I was initially overwhelmed. Initially unclear controls, no instruction manual, basic choppy graphics (I am a graphics whore, faster is better in my books) I was about to give it all up within ten minutes of playing. But I gave it another chance. I stumbled to the tutorial area, I asked the locals for help and they gave me a hand. Now I was able to alter my avatar to look nearly like my handsome Graxly self (Not 100% mind) and shaping things using the given tools.

The basic idea of the game Second Life is that you can do anything you want, be anything you want. You are given the tools to achieve this somewhat daunting feat. There is a simple 3D modelling tool, not unlike a simple version of 3D Studio MAX, which allows you to make 3D objects within this virtual. It may feel limited at first, but then you realise that the people in Second Life have created marvellous thing using a series of simple primitive objects. There is a programming language built into this virtual world that is similar to JAVA, which allows you to program some life into the objects that you create. Also worth noting is the fact that there is a real-life stock market within the game. You can pour real life money into the game and, if you happen to make a lot of in-game money, you can withdraw the virtual money for real cash. Got a business idea, make a real life profit in a virtual world.

So with all this potential it easy to see why people are lured into this game (although the word 'game' is misleading in this context, it's more like a virtual world or an over glorified chat room). Who wouldn't want to do or be anything they want? I myself wanted to make various droids and what not, like I did when playing Star Wars Galaxies only this time they would actually do more. I wanted to create! So now what am I doing...? I'm spending all my free time gambling my money, going to nightclubs and womanizing strippers... Yeah, really doing well there.

(But in my defence doing the strip club thing in Second Life is no worse than doing it in Real Life, in fact it could be arguably better. I've been to a real life strip club once and was given a dance. 5-10 minutes of sitting there with you hands behind you back, not allowed to touch, she swaying and teasing you, then you're short ™20. In Second Life you sit staring at your screen not being able to touch the Poser quality avatar doing the same animation loop over and over whilst they type in sexy words into the chat window all night. All for about ™2.00 worth of game money. See? You're no worse off.)

I have done other things in the game to earn some petty cash, like hosting events and being a DJ at events (which simply consists of downloading some broadcasting software, playing music one after the other, and talking shit on the mic). It's just wasn't what I was expecting to be doing in the game.

The thing I'm hooked on is the chat room mentality of it all. It's so easy to go into an area of some sort and just start chatting away to a random person for hours. And everyone is so friendly. There are the occasional pricks that ruin it for everyone by acting like dicks, but they serve as a way to shake things up a bit; keeping people on their toes. It's like being in the chat rooms of yesteryear, when you just starting out on AOL because you didn't know better. You don't get this kind of social interaction in other MMORPGs like World of Warcraft because you're bogged down with doing missions.

The thing is it's all too good. I'm spending all my free time playing on rather than doing the other stuff I should be doing, like out-of-work-hours work, showering and eating. The only time I normally stop playing and go outside is when I have to go to work. It's gotten to the point where I've paid for my monthly subscription in advance. Four months worth! I've never done that for a game before. My name is Grax and I am addicted to Second Life.

I read a gaming review about this game and it summed it up nicely in one sentence; so I'm going to paraphrase it. To get the most out of the game you have to buy into the game; you need to allow yourself to be fully engulfed in this virtual fantasy world where the resident really do create the content. Other wise you might end up wonder what the big deal is.

As for people with addictive personalities like me, it's best not to start or you'll won't be getting out in a while.

GRAX RATING: 4/5 (2/5 if you don't believe in it)

7 Apr 2006 Thought of the day #1

It's always nice to hear from someone that you are a better and valuable person and the person who says it actually means it. It can really help turn a crappy day/week/month into something a lot more tolerable and generally puts a smile on your face. ^_^

Don't forget to say it. And don't forget to mean it.