The Grax Domain

28 Sep 2006 Crap Music - Gnarls Barkley "Transformer"

Gnarls Barkley "Transformer" is one of the biggest pile of wank I've ever heard. I cannot begin to describe how irritating it is. I'll be really pissed off if it gets used as a track for the Transformers Movie just because of its title, even if it's only in the credits.

Mind you the "Necromancing" track is pretty interesting to listen to. You can't help but turn your head when they mention the world 'necrophillia' a lot in the lyrics.

25 Sep 2006 Mystery noise of Andover

On Saturday 23rd September 2006 at precisely 04:00 or 05:00am(ish) my sleep was disturbed by a loud noise. The sound was like a huge explosion had gone off a few miles away from my home, like something had blown up. Feeling curious I donned my dressing gown and went to the front door to see if I can see what the commotion was about. I saw nothing except the night, and then it began to rain heavy. So I went to bed and thought nothing more of it, discarding the noise to be nothing more than heavy thunder.

It wasn't until today, whist at the post office was I reminded of that night. I had overheard some old man's conversation about a loud noise that went off that night. I interrupted and stated that I heard the same noise too. The more I asked the locals the more I realised that I was not the only person to be disturbed by the noise.

However it did rain heavy after the loud noise, so most people thought it was just thunder.

... But what if it wasn't just thunder....?

... What if it was something else....?

23 Sep 2006 Asleep in the sea, a not-so-quick breakfast and a Simpsons episode idea

I went to the beach with a guy I know from work. I think it was Hayling Island beach, except that it was all sand and not the stoney beach that it actually is. It was a hot, sunny Sunday afternoon and everyone was enjoying themselves. I decided to go out for a swim in the sea. It was fun and relaxing. So relaxing in fact I guess I fell asleep.

The next thing I know I awake and I'm floating around face down in the sea. It's nightime, it's quiet and it's pitch black. The water is calm all around me and despite being wet I was not cold. I did not need to breathe. I'm a little anxious because I don't know if I had floated out into the middle of the ocean, I don't know how far I am from the shore, and I had to get home so that I can go to work tomorrow. After all it was Sunday night. So I starts to lightly paddle in a random direction in the attempt to get back inland.

Fortunately it only took a couple of minutes to get back to shore. Turns out I wasn't very far away. By now the moon had come out and the moonlight illuminated everything. The beach was deserted. By now it must be 03:00am or 05:00am, not much time for me to get back home to go to work. So I got to my car, but I forgot my clothes. So I ran back to my spot, picked up my clothes, got back in my car, and then drove off to get home, which in this dream happens to be my old home town of Fareham. It was still around 03:00am or 05:00am

The drive was relatively quick, it only took me 5-10 minutes to drive along some fictitious roads and no motorways (even though in real life the drive would be around 40 minutes, and that's if you take the quick route on the motorway). By the I got home it was about 08:00am and the sun had come up. No matter, I'll just make some quick breakfast and be on my way.

I get into the kitchen (which is the kitchen in my current home now, not my old home town kitchen) and my girlfriend M is sitting at the table. She wondered where I was and I explained to her what had happened at the beach. She scoffed at the idea saying that it was impossible for me to sleep in the sea like that. Regardless I went to grill some burgers instead of eating something healthier because I thought it would be much quick to cook. However this was not the case.

The burgers where taking ages to grill and I started to get annoyed of all the time wasting. The burgers were oozing grease that completely filled the tray and it was start to overflow and run everywhere. Feeling annoyed I decided to forfeit breakfast and tried to run upstairs for a shower. But I just didn't have time. I looked at my watch and time was literally whizzing by.

And that's all I can remember about my dream.

... No wait, there's more.

During the mornings shenanigans there was an episode of the Simpsons and I remember watching. It wasn't really a funny episode (but then again The Simpsons stopped being funny around season 10) but it was an odd episode. It was somewhat surreal and sinister. The basic plot line was that Homer was slowly going insane, scary insane, and the rest of the family were getting worried. It included:

• Homer getting a huge nail gun and stapling chickens to the walls of their house. The chicken blood was running all down the walls and the family was looking concerned.
• Homer admitted that he was going insane and he was scared.
• Marge was talking to a deep-voiced woman on the phone concerning Homer. The woman told Marge to meet up with her on a bus. The woman ended up being a huge baseball with legs and a face.
• Homer confides to David Schwimmer (playing as himself) about his insanity. David comforting him and reassuring him that he is ok.

23 Sep 2006 Grax the Pirate

Yar me hearties! In celebration of International Talk Like a Pirate Day 2006 I dids me a drawin' of meself as a pirate.

Arr!

19 Sep 2006 Talk Like a Pirate Day 2006

Today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Hope you all have a fun time stealin' treaayes, drinkin' ale and seducin' buxom wenches.

17 Sep 2006 Thought of the day #2: Love is...

Love is the feeling you have when your hugging the one your partner in your arms, laying in bed, and it feels so good that you don't want to possibly ruin the moment with sex.

14 Sep 2006 Pancake: test run

I've just done a test run of making pancakes (wholemeal style). I've used the recipe described at cooks.com.

I've eaten one of the pancakes.

I feel like I've gained 50 lbs instantly.

I've still got another 8 pancakes to get rid of.

A good test run methinks. ^_^

14 Sep 2006 New sketches and my nightmare added

I've added some new pictures to The Art of Grax for all to see. All but two of them are sketches. The last two are the picture of the Nightmare Spectre that I drew the other night. I've also replaced the sketches in that entry with the coloured drawings so that you can fully appreciate the full horror of my nightmares. Or something like that.

11 Sep 2006 RSS feeds for The Grax Domain

You can now subscribe to the rambling and doodles of Grax. You can use the following feeds:

• All new entries RSS feed
• New miscellaneous entries RSS feed
• New rants entries RSS feed
• New art entries RSS feed
• New reviews entries RSS feed
• New updates entries RSS feed
• New dreams entries RSS feed

You can also subscribe to RSS feeds on The Art of Grax, so you'll never miss my latest and greatest creations.

After a while of studying how others do it I've created some home made php pages and a php class that generates RSS pages dynamically, which I'm quite pleased with. I intend to add some XSL styling to the RSS feed for extra goodness. This is the next step towards a better Grax Domain.

8 Sep 2006 Close to ceasing to exist

I had a dream last night that left me feeling a little disturbed when I awoke. There was other parts to the dream at the start but I'm only going to focus on the end part of the dream. It's the part I remember the most.

I started off in a small group of people. I think they were people from a fighting computer game because I'm sure one of them looked like Haggar from Final Fight. I was acting out as a roleplay character not unlike a LARP game (Live Action RolePlay) and my character name was Grax (It usually is, in real life whenever I play any new roleplay game I use Grax as a good solid character name). We were search for something and we had to split up. I ended up going to a deserted, worn-down church. It was pretty simple, except there was a rule you had to follow.

The floor throughout the world had a kind of slab/patio/checkered pattern to it and you had to step on each of these section, kind of like in Hopscotch. As you stepped on each section it would glow a faint blue to indicate that it has been used and it cannot be stepped on again. You must not step on that section again or else the consequences would be... I didn't want to think about how bad it would be, so I focused on finding this thing we were looking for, which I don't actually remember what we were looking for.

It was all going smoothly in the ruined church. I didn't find what I was looking for, but I was making sure that I wasn't stepping on any used sections. Then tragedy struck. I lost my footing and ended up stepping on a large pebble I stepped on previously. Such a tiny thing, such a stupid mistake! It changed its glow from faint blue to a blood red. My face turned white in terror, my body had the pain of paralyzing fear surge throughout. I feared for my life as knew what was coming next. Then it all went dark.

I awoke in my bed and at the end of the room I saw a shadowy shape hovering at the end of the room. It was a ghost, a sinister spectre. It had a diamond shape to it, a kind of pointed head with no facial features and it was a deep crimson colour all over. I distinctly remember the colour of the spectre. For some reason the name "Crepé mode" "or "Creché mode" comes to mind when I think of it. I believe that was what it was called, though I don't really know.

The spectre was kinda like The Grim Reaper except that it had one distinct difference. While The Grim Reaper took your soul to the afterlife when you died, the Creché mode's sole purpose was to wipe you out of existence. You didn't die, you no longer existed, you never existed, you never will exist! It was the ultimate end of you.

(I've done an artist impression of what the spectre looked like based on what I can remember. However I could capture the scariness of its appearance. I'm telling you it was a million times scarier in my dreams. So... Imagine it scarier.)



I looked upon it in fear and dispair; my time had come.

It slowly started to float towards me. It reached out its wrinkly old hand at me, its long talons inching towards me. I wanted to run but all I can managed was a wimper as I squirmed about trying to get out of my bed. It was soon on top of me. This was it, the end of me. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see the end.

Nothing happened.

I then opened my eyes. The spectre was floating away and it had taken off its hood to reveal the head of an elderly woman. Thin, in her 60s, very wrinkly and curvy, wavy, brunette hair. (Here's another artist impression. Not 100% accurate but you get the idea.)



She then began talking to me and explained a few things. Firstly she explain fully who she was, then she said that it was my character that ceased to exist and not me personally. She then went on to explain why humans were no longer able to detect her.

A long time ago all of Mother Earth's creatures could detect Creché mode, even human beings. Then one day a human thought "I don't need this ability anymore, I don't need to see this spectre" and gave up the ability to gain enhanced intelligence or something. This sacrifice somehow passed through the generations until all the whole human race lost this ability to detect Creché mode. However we will see the spectre if we stepped on a section more than once, and thusly it would be the last thing you saw.

With that she left the room through a wall. Before she left she cheerfully gave me a stern warning that she will come for me if I stepped on a section more than once. I gave a nervous smile to her and she left.

Then I heard some kind of comotion outside my room. I opened the door and there was my family members walking through the narrow corridor. There was a party being held in my house for all my family members. I wanted to join them but there was a problem. The floor was covered in the slabs and the corridor was so narrow that it was only able to fit one slab across. If I walked one way I could come back without stepped back on myself. I would be trapped. I started to get stressed and scared, especially after what the spectre just said to me.

The stress of it all made me wake up in real life.

EDIT: I've replaced the sketches I did with proper coloured in versions of the Creché mode.

5 Sep 2006 Steve Irwin: RIP

Steve Irwin died on the weekend of the 2^nd September 2006. He died from a stingray attack.

The world has lost a truly entertaining man and a gentleman. He will be missed.

5 Sep 2006 5 day weekend, featuring Patrick Stewart and Cardiff

Ah the Bank Holiday Weekend of August, the last English bank holiday that we get for the year. Many people take this opportunity to go away somewhere for a break, a mini vacation if you will. Course I'm no different.

MY girlfriend (M) and I decided to go away for the weekend, taking a couple days off work to give us lots of time. The vacation came in two halves; the first half (handled by me) was to head on up to Stratford-Upon-Avon to see a theatre performance, whilst the second half (handled by her) was to stay round her friends house near Cardiff, Wales and to chill for a few days, take in the local sites, etc. So how did the two halves fit together? How was it? Was it all jolly?

After spending a night in Warwick in a cheap motel we headed out to Stratford-Upon-Avon to get to the Royal Shakespeare Company theatre. It was my first time in Stratford and I quite liked what I saw. Old school Victorian look to the buildings, quirky street performances and monuments, generally clean. I didn't understand why some high-brow newspapers called Stratford a money-grabbing hell hole. Though the crank driven ferry to cross a 5 meter river that you had to pay 50p a head, when there was a bridge that crossed the river ten minutes walk away, was a bit too gimmicky for my liking.

Anyway we got to the theatre in plenty of time and sat in our seat ready to see the performance. What were we to see? Shakespeare's last ever play, The Tempest. Why? My reason was because it had Patrick Stewart as the one of the main actors! Damn straight! And he was, nay is a fine actor indeed. The way he acted made you forget all his previous works and concentrate on the now. My only regret was that we were too far to see him in great detail. Go see him if you ever get the chance.

After seeing the show M and I had several hours left until we needed to drive to Wales. So we decided to look at a few things, have a meal and even do a little bit of rowing on the river. We hired out a boat, I grabbed onto the oars and I began our voyage. It was then I learn something about myself.

I'm very, very bad at rowing.

And that my girlfriend is better at rowing than me.

As she smugly confirmed as she took over and spent most of the time rowing us around the river.

(Course what she might not tell you is that she sails a lot in her spare time so of course she's had lot of practice. It was my first time.... essentially. That's my excuse.)

After our fun time in Stratford we headed off to M's friends house in Wales. So two hours, lots of singing to music in the car and several calls from a stalker girl later (which my girlfriend handled beautifully by answering the phone and confusing the stalker) we arrive. For the next three days we spent our time chilling, watching DVDs, looking round shop, taking in the local countryside (which is beautiful mountain range), and drinking lots of wine. Not to get completely bladdered, but it was a case of drinking wine at every moment. We only saw things near the Cardiff area, it'd be nice to see more of Wales.

We even managed to get a chance to visit the Avebury Stones as a detour before going home. As well as the usual stone sights there was a stand that was selling yearly memberships to the National Trust. M and I looked at each and though "This is something you join when you're officially old."

It was a pretty fun 5 day Bank Holiday weekend. Granted that was on the 25^th-29^th August, two weeks ago. But hell, I've been busy with stuff. Including cooking my first ever roast over the last weekend. I am truly a man of the house!